Your romantic partner is typically someone you think you know quite well. The two of you share deep parts of your life, building more and more trust as the relationship progresses. However, as one viral Reddit post has recently shown, even the closest people keep secrets from one another.
It all started when u/dusty_ninja asked other users on the platform, “What is the darkest thing you have kept from your partner?” The answers immediately came pouring in, ranging from icky and cruel to sad and heartbreaking. Here are some of the most memorable ones.
I never told my wife that her mother tried to have sex with me. It was early in our marriage when we were living with her to save money for our own place. Her marriage of 28 years had ended badly and she was emotionally fragile. She was very drunk and was absolutely horrified at what she had done when she sobered up. I promised not to ever tell my wife and I never did, even when she and I were fighting near the end of our marriage. Some things are too cruel to do, even when you’re trying to hurt each other.
Image credits: 46from1971
I cheated on my wife….when she wasn’t looking at a family pot luck.
My wife and her sister put their peanut butter cupcakes side by side on the table and her sister makes crazy good cupcakes. My sister in law made peanut butter cupcakes with real peanut butter filling AND filled it with Reese’s Peanut Butter chips. My wife only put a tiny bit of peanut butter topping on hers with no PB filling. I kept making excuses to go back to the dessert table and scarf down my sis in laws cupcakes especially when little kids were near it to make it look like they were eating most of the cupcakes. Didn’t even touch my wife’s cupcakes.
Image credits: spicedpumpkins
Not that dark, but I really really did not like her wedding dress…
Image credits: ohhshitnotagain
That I feel trapped and I hate myself and my life and I really just want to disappear and move away and leave my wife and three kids so they can finally be free of me, I feel like such a burden and so guilty that my kids love me, they’d be better off without me.
Image credits: TangoDeltaFoxtrot
I have anxiety attacks when my SO is away. We joke about me believing he’s dead when I don’t hear from him often enough, but it’s real. Like hyperventilating, heart racing, crying, rocking back and forth-real.
He loves going on roadtrips and does landscape photography. I can’t ruin that for him.
Image credits: serume
Exactly how bad of a person I used to be before I met her. She knows I was into drugs and some other dumb stuff, but she doesn’t know the depths of depravity I delved to in order to fit in with the people I mistakenly wasted my time with.
Image credits: boondockslasher
Sometimes I buy a chocolate bar when I go to the grocery store and eat it before i get home…
Image credits: jimmykslay
She farts in her sleep like a wild bear.
Image credits: billyo318
Just how much I depend on her. For our first eight or so months of marriage, my wife and I were never apart due to moving around and being in lockdown. Even now we’re hardly apart since we both work from home.
She doesn’t know just how sad I get when she goes away. I miss her so much, and all I really want to do is curl up on the bed and wait for her to come back. I lose my smile, I lose interest in all my hobbies, everything. Once she gets back though, I’m alright again.
Image credits: solojetpack
I hooked up with a professor of mine in college and after that she would pimp me out to her colleagues. That’s not the label she would have given it, but that’s what it was.
Image credits: Thejibblies
I was born with only one hand. I have rheumatoid arthritis in the one hand I have, and I know it’s spreading. I have osteoarthritis in my lower back and scoliosis to the point where I am most likely going to need spine surgery. I’m only 31 years old. I can’t do this for another 50+ years. I am in such bad pain now and it’s only going to get worse. I have thought of suicide but I can’t do that to my husband and kids. I don’t want my husband to turn into a care giver. I can’t envision not being able to take care of myself.
Image credits: OneHandedMolly
He wanted to find a shark tooth so badly after I found one at the beach. So I went and bought a small bottle of shark teeth from the gift shop, spread them out all over a strip of beach we were hanging at and marveled at every shark tooth he brought me. I can never tell him the truth.
Image credits: BarbarianTHEdarian
That I’m scared of him.
Image credits: RiveterAnne
I freakin HATE Dungeons & Dragons.
It bores me to tears.
Yet I’ve orchestrates an elaborate lie that gives the illusion I love it as much as he does and once a month I have to spend 5 hours sitting through a session bored to tears.
I do this simply because its one of the few hobbies in his life he gets to enjoy and I want him to have someone to play it with.
It’s been going on for 5 years now, and I have no way out lol
It’s OK though, the amount of joy I see he gets from playing it gives me comparable joy. So I don’t mind that much.
Image credits: VoiceFromTheVoid99
She’s my ex now, but, she had just revealed to me some very, uh, confidential information, info I understand I’m one of only four people to know. She asked me if I have any deep secrets like that. I lied and told her I didn’t, but the truth is, my grandmother by marriage (no blood relation) sexually harassed and abused me as a preteen and teenager. Literally nobody irl knows. I’ve never told anyone.
Image credits: BESTER_P12
That I’m dying faster than she thinks I am.
I suffer from chronic depression. My SO is super sweet and supportive, but I am afraid of unloading too much of my crazy on him. I keep dark thoughts and feelings from him all the time, I’d make him miserable if I didn’t.
He knows, btw, I am not keeping all of it from him, just a lot of the excessive stuff.
Image credits: ILikeLamas678
That the real root of my trust issues stem from how I was sexually assaulted by my extremely religious godparents’ son when I was 11-12. It first started out with comments about my body, how I was “filling out”, then it evolved from there. My parents would send me to their house for whole summers and I particularly remember that one, my mom came to visit and I practically begged her to take me home. She adamantly refused even after I told her I was not comfortable and was scared and she still left me with them. I guess from there I just slowly stopped trusting the ones closest to me.
I was crying, and told my boyfriend someone had kissed me.
He asked if it was his 30 year old cousin.
I said yes.
He asked me over and over if anything else happened.
I was 15. I said no.
I’m from south Louisiana and my dad is in a Mardi Gras Crew. Every year he’s on a float throwing beads.
My husband has never been to Mardi Gras so his first time he was so excited and it was at my dad’s parade. Normally people on the floats throw the “good beads” to kids or women that will flash them.
I told my husband that if you yell “throw me something mister!” loud enough the people on the float will give you the “good beads.”
I told my dad and he told his float buddies, when their float came around my husband was screaming like a banshee “THROW ME SOMETHING MISTER!”
My dad and his friend pelted my husband with their best beads. When we were leaving the parade my husband was flexing all his nice new beads and thinks Mardi Gras is the best thing ever.
Didn’t have the heart to tell him that I told my dad to do that. He just thinks that because he was so enthusiastic, he got all the good stuff.
My wife asked me not to pee in the shower. I told her I wouldn’t but I do it every time I shower.
That I’m probably a bit co-dependent at this point.
Image credits: ssjx7squall
Her father once told me : if he could go back in time, he would never have dated her mother and have kids with her. Was pretty shocking thing to hear while on vacation with the whole step family. The guy has Asperger’s. Weird family. The girl left me cold turkey a few months later after 7 years together, and i still didn’t even think about telling her that story.
Image credits: DeliciousCactus
Declining mental health and everyday drug addiction. I wish I hadn’t been so good at hiding it.
I needed help.
Image credits: Yasha666
That I had an abortion at 16.
Image credits: areweoutofthewoods1
I once pooped in their garage because I was waiting for her to come home and let me in. Blamed it on the raccoons.
Not my gf now, but she didn’t know the extent or details of my childhood struggles. she knew I grew up in the projects up until age 10, but I think because i never wore it like a badge of honor or carried myself in the stereotypical way of someone who would come from that environment, many people think i was unaffected. and i never bothered to share those details because i never wanted to make a sob story out of a situation that i was blessed to get out of and that many people are still currently in. but that living situation has taken a toll on me in various ways that’d i love to expound upon for those who are interested.
Image credits: IHeartDana
I am able to talk about many morbid things I have experienced and witnessed, I could be open about how many girls I have slept with, but if the truth got out that I once had a boyfriend years ago and I still find men attractive, I am afraid that it will be over.
I have experienced enough rejection from women whenever I opened up about my sexuality
Image credits: HapaKappa
She doesn’t know I’m straight.
Image credits: bigchickennuggies10
I hate that she compares me to ex husband and i have to prove her wrong over and over again….i hate that i have to pay for is past mistakes. Like ugh starting to wonder if i can kepp doing this….i really do love her but its making me depressed
I’m not sure I actually love him, or if I just don’t want to be alone or start a new relationship from scratch.
Image credits: Imtryingmydude
I ate all 4 sleeves of oreos in one sitting.
I don’t love her and feel as though I never will.
I’m an iv drug user on and off. I work long contacts in isolation far away from home and I use a lot when I’m away. I clean up when I’m going home so my wife can’t tell but I’m still not quite 100% when I’m home with her.
She’s struggling with stuff and it breaks my heart I can’t meet her needs but I need this job to pay for our future. I’m trying to quit the drugs, it’s easy when I’m home but as soon as I’m alone in this stupid little hole in the wall for work 4 weeks at a time I’m back to using. I don’t know how to tell her.
I’m thinking of divorce.
My wife is scared of me. If I am working on something and I swear or vent my frustration. She runs to me (usually I am alone) and wants to know how to fix it.
Then she leaves the house when I say I am just mad that: I burned my hand. Toilet is clogged. I stripped a screw and need to drill it out.
She told me this weekend that when I am mad she gets scared, and that just broke something in me since I can’t fully process it.
I don’t know why, I have never even raised my voice to her. But she cringes and covers her ears whenever a loud noise occurs. I spoke to my parents and friends, they think it sounds like she has been abused in the past. But she doesn’t want to talk about it, and when we disagree we don’t even get to argue. She just locks herself away from me and our kids.
We are in marriage counselling because I haven’t been happy for a long time. But she was arguing with the Therapist about what I really feel and how I should take vacations alone since I have had panic attacks on vacation before and that ruins them for me (or maybe her).
I don’t know what to do, but I am tired of walking on eggshells.
I think I’m pulling 90% of the weight in our relationship.
Granted, we’re only coming up on one year together right now, but I always (and I mean ALWAYS) text them first, compliment them extensively, give them physical attention and affection, plan our dates, and drive and pay for everything. Plus I seem to get out-prioritized by a lot of stuff. So we always do what they want when they want. I simply need to work around their needs all the time.
I’m accepting it because they’re exceedingly beautiful inside and out and I don’t think they’re secure enough to do any of what I do themselves. I’m happy with them and don’t want to be too judgemental about it, but wow it looks like a struggle on paper.
This is from my POV not Doofenshmirtz’s
My father is an AIDS patient,he did not reveal it to anyone and married my mom.And as a result I was born,unaffected,my mother also is unaffected.(happened in 2002)
(To clarify the doubt from my father a DNA test was performed and I am his son but without the virus..)
That I tripled money I put in crypto this year, but not cashing out for few years, if I told her how much we have in crypto she would nag me to sell.
That there is literally nothing about myself that I actually like and I honestly have no idea what he sees in me…
All the men I’ve been with before him (only three) made it crystal clear they were with me because I was nice, supportive, safe, and convenient. Because I put up with [them]. They weren’t actually attracted to me — just what I could do for them. … It’s hard to build confidence when my whole life has been about what’s (objectively) wrong with me when everyone around me, including my romantic partners, compliment everything except my appearance. Now I’m in my mid-30s, and this is the first one who I think might actually be attracted to me. It feels too good to be true.
Nothing dark, but I hide pints of ice cream in the back of the freezer. If I don’t hide it then it’s gone. My girlfriend has 0 self control and will eat the entire pint in one sitting. I like to spread it out so I can have an enjoyable snack a few days in a row.
Sometimes I’ll even buy one with gluten in it intentionally so she can’t have it. She has celiac and can’t have gluten.
I keep having creeping thoughts of myself with other people. I don’t like them, I don’t want those thoughts, but they happen regardless.
That I’m buying more GME than she knows about
that I was abused as a kid
What an incredibly f*cked up, dysfunctional white trash background I come from.
Well, it doesn’t matter anymore since we’re divorced now–but–a few years ago, I banged my wife’s cousin one night when she was in town and my wife was at work.
Not taking away from the fact I was wrong in doing that, but, considering our divorce happened because it came out that my wife had cheated on me MULTIPLE times over the years (she has admitted to “several dozen” times)…I really don’t feel bad about it.
I had a total mental breakdown in 2017 caused by stress. Never told anyone, it’s the worst my mental health has ever been and I’m afraid of getting like that again and not getting help
That I’ve been planning my goodbyes for quite some time now. We’ve been in and out of this relationship many times across 5 years. I guess we really can’t turn back from some mistakes.
Got someone pregnant in highschool, gave up custody so I wouldn’t have to pay child support. They all died in a car crash 5 years later.
That I’m unsure if I will ever be able to express and maintain deep emotional intimacy with anyone
I haven’t told my partner that all my nice clothes and designer shoes are replicas from China
Slept with my ex girlfriend’s sister before ex girlfriend and I got together
My mom hated my ex (lets just call her Sarah) for how bad she hurt me when we broke up. My mom passed away about a week after seeing Sarah at the mall, and she gave Sarah dirty looks and a cold shoulder. Sarah and I saw each other soon after my mom passed, and she broke down and told me that based on their recent encounter, she was sure my mom hated her. I lied to her and said “no, she was just really sick at the end, She didn’t hate you.” Sarah and I are still good friends to this day and I will never tell her the truth that my mom hated her guts.
I once found a very good little chocolate cake in the half price section of the local super market. I originally bought it so I and the lady in the house could have it for dessert, but I ended up eating the whole thing myself.
My girlfriend soon to be fiancé has no idea of my extreme mental health struggle in the past how I used to be medicated and even checked myself into a hospital when I was extremely suicidal from said medications.
I’ve since been fine and haven’t had a issue of anxiety or depression in years BUT it still hurts me knowing my brain could be so dark. When she talks about depression or anxiety she just doesn’t understand because she’s never had to deal with it.
So I’ve kept it to myself to not put my old burden on her. Maybe one day I’ll bring it up.