Sometimes we get stuck in a rut. We can’t install a dating app, look for work in another city, or take up a new hobby because we tell ourselves, “That’s not me.” But when we think that we can’t succeed, we don’t even try. I know, it sounds corny, but most universal truths do.
Interested in what helps people to keep moving forward, Redditor u/Mememakermaker asked other users: “What advice did someone give you that changed your life?” And they were heard. As of this article, the post has received over 2.2K comments, many of which share tips on relationships, career, and other important areas. Here are some of the most upvoted ones.
“A quiet life is not a boring life”
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If you wouldn’t take advice from them, why would you take criticism?
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“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach there is, and there will still be people who don’t like peaches” – Dita Von Teese
Used to stress about people liking me or not, stemming from different experiences as a kid. I read this quote and realised that I can be the best I can be, but I’m still not gonna be to everyone’s taste, and that’s alright. Helped me stress down almost entirely about that.
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Not everything in your brain needs to come out of your mouth
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Not quite advice, but a male co-worker said his wife was his best friend and I realized my husband and I weren’t friends at all. tried to change the relationship but eventually left. 10 years later married a man who was my friend, still married 13 years and he is my best friend.
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Don’t make permanent decisions on temporary emotions
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My therapist told me not to fight my drinking cravings, but rather to ignore them.
Instead of white knuckling it on the couch trying to ride it out, she suggested I find a project and keep myself busy instead.
It worked. Today I’m 41 days sober.
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My 5th grade teacher ms. Davis.
“If you are getting frustrated it’s perfectly ok to walk away for a bit a come back to the problem, it’s better to walk away and come back with a clear head then just getting more frustrated”
This was the first person I met that saw me and got me.
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Be the person your dog thinks you are.
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I was always told to think three things:
Does this need to be said?
Does this need to be said by me?
Does this need to be said by me right now?
If it’s a no on any of these, shut up.
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Hating someone is like drinking poison yourself and waiting until it kills them.
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“Good memories can be just as toxic as bad memories”
For people in bad friendships/romantic relationships, so many people hold on to the good times in the past, hoping that it’ll be like that again. You remember how good things were at the start, and you convince yourself ‘they’re not that bad, remember that one good time…..”, even though at present, you’re being treated like sh*t.
But what’s in the past has already happened. Your current reality is not that anymore. Good memories can really trap you in bad places if you’re not careful.
This advice has definitely been a wake up call to me before.
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Comparison is the thief of joy
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You can’t change what happend. No matter it was your fault or someone else messed it up. Don’t be mad about it. Deal with the challenge.
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ONLY worry about what you CAN control… which isn’t very much.
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Consider what saying “yes” will cost you – time, energy, money, etc.
If you really can’t part with what it would cost, then “no” is a statement of fact, and an act of self-respect.
Also, recognize that other people are allowed to be upset or have negative emotions, without it being your job to fix that – even if they say you’re the source or reason.
Obviously if you’ve hurt someone with your words or actions you should apologize – but if someone’s mad at you for not doing them a favor? Too bad. You’re probably not their only option and they’ll just have to learn to solve their own problems.
We’re each responsible for our own happiness. We can choose to add to the happiness of others, but it’s nobody’s job to ensure someone else’s happiness.
Today is only one day in all the days that will ever be. But what will happen in all the other days that ever come can depend on what you do today,
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Not really advice, just a remark someone made a few times that hit home.. They said that most things people do have nothing to do with you, even if it’s directed at you. It really did change my life in that I hardly ever take things personal anymore.
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If something is worth doing, its worth doing badly.
At one point in my life I just did not want to do anything because of depression and anxiety and it sucked. I was brought up to believe “if something is worth doing, its worth doing right.” So I decided because I didn’t think i could get it right I wouldn’t bother doing anything.
I read this, and realised I’d been doing it all wrong. I may not be able to get up and shave and shower and run 2 miles in the morning. But I can get dressed and brush my teeth. That’ll do.
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Just because you can doesn’t mean you should
“you don’t have to know exactly how to do something. You just need to know that it can be done, and the rest can be figured out.”. My former boss when I started my IT career. Changed how I looked at the problems I dealt with at work and at home.
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To truly become the best, you must strive to surpass yourself. Not the competition.
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Nobody knows what the [hell] they’re doing
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Dont find someone to grow old with, find someone to stay forever young with.
Embarrassment is the cost of entry
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Don’t worry about what other people are thinking about you, because everyone is only thinking about themselves.
Doing the minimum is better than doing nothing at all.
“You can’t help people if you can’t even help yourself.”
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Don’t be afraid of rejection.
“You can be a victim of your own competence.”
A manager at my boring office job questioned my motives for being there, leading me to pivot completely, go back to school, and pursue a career in an industry im passionate about.
After graduating college I worked retail and food service for about 5 years before landing a decent paying office gig. I was pretty miserable there, but I always assumed that was the best path to success cuz it worked for my dad. I was in my managers office doing a quarterly review or something and she asked me the classic “where do you see yourself in 5 years?” Since my dad started out as a programmer and worked his way up the corporate ladder, I’d always assumed that was the best way to success and happiness. So I told my manager “idk doing what you’re doing I guess.” “Why?” She asked. I responded “I mean…isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?” And then she dropped a line that literally changed the course of my life: “Is what you WANT to do, or is it what you’re EXPECTED to do?”
Y’all, I was floored. I was at a loss for words making that ‘surprised Pikachu’ face. You know the one. After my review I went back to my desk and spent the rest of the day thinking about her question. I decided in the following weeks that being an office drone WAS NOT what I wanted to do so finally, at 27, I decided to forge my own path instead of doing what my parents/society expected me to do. I went back to school for media production (didn’t finish cuz I ran out of money/COVID) and here I am 4 years later with my first production job working teleprompter at a local news station. It’s not where I want to end and it’s been a long hard few years to get here, but it’s the foot in the door job that I’ve been searching for.
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That I didn’t have to stay married to my abusive spouse, myself and children could be better off.
Was taught that divorce was bad. Didn’t even realize leaving him/divorce was a real option.
My life has completely changed in many ways.
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Be curious not judgemental
To truly listen to your partner get past your anger and defensiveness and be vulnerable and only then can you listen to their needs and change your self. Being vulnerable doesnt make you weak.
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More of a saying my mom uses a lot “At any point of the day it can get better”
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You wear a shirt almost all of the time. Stop striving to be happy with how you look with your shirt off and start striving to be happy with how you look with a shirt on.
It’s silly but when I was much heavier, I was so self conscious of how I looked with my shirt off even though it barely came off around people other than my wife. Over the years of diet and exercise, I am pretty happy with how I look with both my shirt on and off, but when I changed perspective on this, I actually starting losing weight and becoming stronger a lot faster.
“Act like you have been there before.”
It’s just another way of saying be confident in yourself, but just saying “be confident,” doesn’t really tell you how to be confident. Saying “act like you have been there before” is more like instructions.
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Stop putting everyone else first. Think about what you need before you try to help anyone else. You have to be selfish and take care of yourself before anyone else otherwise you’ll have nothing left to give others. It’s okay to put yourself first it doesn’t mean you don’t care about anyone else.
My doctor told me that when I broke down to him during a very hard period of my life. I just crumbled in that room the second he said “enough about everyone else, how are you doing?” I was such a people pleaser and ran myself almost into my grave with it. I always believed if i could make everyone around me happy I’d be happy too because then there would be no reason for me to worry I wasn’t making anyone happy or proud. But it doesn’t work that way. You can’t make everyone else happy you can only do that for yourself and it’s not selfish to put yourself first. It’s how you survive and get better. Then I can help the people I want to help. It was helpful in teaching me it wasn’t my job to fix other people too, they wouldn’t get fixed if they didn’t want to be and I was fighting a losing battle by trying and just bringing myself down with them. It took a long time, so many hard moments but I’m selfish now and make no apologies for it.
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Never have an argument with an idiot, they will drag you down to their level and beat you through experience
You are what you eat. It showed me that if you want to be a different person you need to do a little bit of everything everyday. My career, body, and overall happiness skyrocketed after I did it. It is sometimes boring, because it is a grind, but the reaping is amazing.
Be involved, not attached.
Had major problems socializing for most of my life. It’s way better now, thanks to advice like this. It doesn’t mean you have to dominate every conversation, just be more involved. Ask the talking person questions, repeat what they said in other words to clarify their statements, ask follow-up questions. Let them know you’re actually interested in what they have to say. Making people talk will get you way farther than talking about yourself.
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love your skin and treat it like every other organ
Be nice to all your coworkers. You never know who will become your boss some day
Work is not like school. You don’t hand-in an assignment and it’s done. Instead, you constantly chip away at things over time. In my first job I was upset that my work was never “perfrct”/done like it was at school. This advice helped me shift my mindset so that I wasn’t so hard on myself.
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“You should get some meds and see a therapist.”
It did indeed change my life.
Don’t give me an excuse. Say you’re sorry, and you’ll do better.
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“Bad things happen to good people who make bad decisions”
When you hit rock bottom the only way is up
I know it’s a common advice but when my honorary grandma said “press on never give up it’ll come to you eventually” it stayed with me ever since. She is one of a few genuine people I know so it means a lot to me.
At the point this advice was given, he was still a stranger. As the years went on, we became like family.
“If you’re serious about it, you have to change everything.” At the time it was just about workouts and eating, but I realized everything affected my goals(work, life, gym, etc).
Best advice I received about relationships with direct reports: Always friendly, never a friend.
I wish I had learned it earlier in my career. But in my current role, it serves me very well!
“If I think there’s something wrong everyone around me, then there’s something wrong with me.”
Been chanting this word every time I feel this way. Though others may see it as depressing (not to mentioned about my current self-esteem), it helps me to not blame others and more saying to myself “what can I do better”.
“The grass is greener on the other side” Helps me whenever I see other people’s lifestyle seems better than I am.
“The more I learned, the more things I realised I do not know” This helps me questioned pretty much whenever I learn something.
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You are worth the effort.
Expectations breed disappointment.
If you’re gonna get angry about something, think to yourself, will I remember this in 10 years?
Before you gossip, ask yourself: Is it true, is it kind , is it necessary?
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Actions prove who someone is, words just prove who they want to be
Just because you like/love them doesn’t mean they feel the same. Be sure that the relationship is a partnership.
“Don’t be an idiot”
Changed my life
The only thing in this world that no one can take from you is your education.
Take it one day at a time
Once a cheater, always a cheater.